Why you shouldn’t designate a friend or family member as your wedding coordinator
You just got engaged and lucky for you, you already know the perfect wedding planner! Getting engaged when your friend or family member who works in the wedding industry can be that much more exciting! I know your first thought is to ask them to coordinate your wedding instead of hiring an independent coordinator, but let’s talk through some pros and cons (spoiler alert: it’s mostly cons).
Photos: Sarah Tribett
1. They won’t be able to enjoy your wedding with you.
You only get married once. If you’re asking a family member or friend to coordinate the day, you must understand what that means. That means instead of watching you walk down the aisle, they’ll be lining up the wedding party. Instead of watching your first dance, they’ll be preparing for the cake cutting coming next. Wedding coordination is a job because it is hard work. If someone is doing this role, you can be sure they’ll be busy all day instead of enjoying your new marriage. Let your BFF enjoy your wedding instead of working as your wedding coordinator! Wouldn’t you be sad to miss pieces of his/her special day?
Pictured above is owner, Bianca’s, best friend’s wedding. She was able to attend as Maid of Honor while Kelly, wedding planner for BNCo, coordinated the day. While Bianca was in the moment with her bestie, Kelly was coordinating vendors and putting the final touches on the day.
2. The potential for uncomfortable situations is high.
Your wedding coordinator should be someone with no strings attached who can act as your advocate. When Grandma insists you just have to dance to the same song she did when she got married, your wedding coordinator can step in and kindly let her know that is not the plan. Your BFF, however, probably doesn’t want to be in hot water with your grandmother. It’s harder for friends to step in and advocate since they’re risking their image as your friend, and potentially have relationships with your family and other friends. Who wants to be in trouble with their best friend’s family?
3. They likely lack experience.
If your friend or family member is a professional in this field, this obviously would not be a concern. However, your BFF who helped plan prom back in high school is definitely not experienced enough to plan a wedding. If they haven’t worked weddings before, they may not know what problems to be prepared for. For example, we bring an entire wedding day emergency kit full of things brides and grooms often need on their special day. From bobby pins and a Tide-To-Go pen, to snacks and Advil, we are prepared for anything. We know what time your caterer should arrive for set up, and can help your florist adjust last-minute details. Professional planners are there to help, and know exactly what to do in any circumstance.
Flowers: Lovelily Flowers, Rentals: Premiere
4. What if they don’t do a good job?
If your BFF isn’t a professional wedding coordinator, things are so much more likely to go wrong in the first place. Professionals are trained and have experience and expertise in this exact field. With any professional, you’ll sign a contract agreeing to specific services. When services aren’t met, or are met to a sub-par standard, there are consequences in place to right these wrongs. If a professional vendor messes up, you will most likely be reimbursed in some form. If your Aunt messes up, there likely is no contract that ensures she rights her wrongs. You’re also, more importantly, risking a valuable relationship. Would you be able to forgive a friend or family member for ruining something on your wedding day, accidental or not?
5. Use them as a sounding board
A positive of having a friend familiar with the wedding industry is that they can be a great resource! If your friend or family member is a professional, they can recommend other vendors they trust to do an awesome job! This can definitely help cut down on time spent searching for vendors. Ask if they’re willing to advise you through questions that might come up during the planning process. When the big day comes, you will not regret having a 3rd party, professional wedding coordinator there to ensure all goes well. So much is on the line when mixing personal relationships with professional ones, and the cons entirely outweigh the pros. Your BFF can listen, offer opinions or advice, but should be able to enjoy your wedding day with you.
Let’s get this planning party started! Want Bianca Nichole and Co to help plan your wedding in Austin? Click here to send us an inquiry!
Bianca Nichole and Co is a team of wedding planners in Austin, and will travel to San Antonio, Fredericksburg and the surrounding Texas Hill Country area.
