The Truth About Wedding Planners
When you hear the words “wedding planner,” what immediately comes to mind? JLO? I don’t blame you!
Does your mind recall some of the intense and overbearing characters you’ve seen in movies and TV? Do you think of the extravagant events thrown for celebrities? Or do you just draw a big blank because you’ve never seen a real wedding planner in action before?
There’s no doubt about it: there are a LOT of misconceptions out there about what wedding planners are like and what we do! So I am here to address the rumors and bust those myths, one by one!
1. Myth: We take over the entire wedding so that it fits our own vision.
Truth: Absolutely not! This might be the most pervasive misconception about wedding planners and it couldn’t be more untrue. Your event is all about you: your vision and your ideas! Your wedding planner is there to help you pinpoint what you want, if needed, and make it a reality. We hold your hand though the entire planning process and give you our help, advice, and resources (including the less fun planning stuff like the logistics of finding, contacting, and coordinating with your vendors). Wedding planners do typically have a signature look to their weddings, but chances are their clients pick them because they share a wedding style AND we never let that supersede a client’s wishes! We’re there to make it YOUR perfect day. I tell my couples I’ve already had my wedding and I’m here to be your wedding planning BFF! Think of us as your planning partner, not your planning dictator!
2. Myth: We’re bossy, rude, and overbearing.
Truth: Weddings days are made for celebration which should be filled with fun and laughter, I’m not here to ruin the mood with a rude attitude.
That said, as in every profession, I’m sure some not nice people are out there. That is why I encourage couples to talk with their vendor before hiring them, so you can make sure you vibe and genuinely like each other! A good wedding planner is friendly and works well with others, while also being confident and competant. Exactly the type of person you want on your side to help run your event!
3. Myths: Planning is an easy job that anyone can do and is super glamorous.
Truth: I have to let out a big laugh on this one. CBS News and many others report Event Planners as one of the top 10 most stressful jobs in America.
Before I give you the breakdown, I will preface I consider this to be a service job and while it is hard dang work, it is so rewarding. Now, imagine spending 10-14 hours on your feet, running around (frequently fairly frantically but then having to slow down and look calm and cool when around guests). You are dealing with crisis after crisis, setting up an entire event for 100+ people, with a million little details. Making sure you speak with every vendor you see to make sure everyone’s on the same page. While also managing to gather the wedding party and make sure they are where they need to be (drunken groomsmen love to wander off!), trying to keep even the crankiest of guests happy. We do all of this while in formal wear and sometimes in extreme temperatures (hello, Texas heat).
Not to mention there are month, sometimes years, of work that goes into a wedding day beforehand. Not every wedding needs a bunch of fires put out and not every wedding requires a million tasks but every wedding is the most important day of someone’s life and we take that very seriously. On wedding day, we wear many different titles – wedding planner, guest greeter, seamstress, timeline manager, therapist, handyman, etc.
We do everything in our power to make sure everything goes smoothly. And as a result: it can be very hard work. At the end of it, we hope it looks as glamorous as you imagined. But our job? Not glamorous. And definitely not easy. There’s a lot of pressure on a wedding day and wedding planners are arguably under the most pressure. Whatever happens on that day falls on us, even if its something out of our control or not directly out fault, we feel (and look) responsible if anything doesn’t go according to plan so we have to work very hard to make sure everything is perfect.
Most reputable wedding planners have had some education and been certified and all of us have at least worked under another wedding planner for some amount of time before taking on our own clients. A lot of time, effort and energy go into becoming a legitimate wedding planner and I promise when you meet a professional you can tell the difference!
4. Myth: Wedding planners want you to spend, spend spend!
Truth: There is a misconception that having a wedding planner automatically means a higher budget wedding and that we’ll push you into more expensive options. That is not the case and, in some ways, it’s quite the opposite! When you tell your planner your budget, one of our jobs is to help keep you on budget. We can factor in everything you want with the added bonus of industry knowledge, because we work so many different events we get really good at finding the best quality vendors at the right price point for you!
I tell our couples, think of me as your big sister who will spending hours on Pinterest with you, texting you inspiration pictures but I will also remind you that if you add that extra floral arrangement you will be over budget. It’s your money to spend and your decision but my job is to help keep you balanced.
5. Myth: We refer specific vendors because we get a kick back from them.
Truth: I’m honestly not sure why this is such a common question but I’ve heard it multiple times. I can only think of a couple times where any vendor offered any sort of incentive to a planner and in my experience: the planner passes those savings on to their client. But even in those extremely rare cases, I’ve never seen a planner recommend anyone to a client that they did not truly believe was a good fit for them, in their budget, and whose work we really admire. Our recommendations are a pretty big reflection on us and can have a huge impact on how an event turns out so referring any vendor that is subpar really works against us and the wedding as a whole.
Bianca Nichole Events does not personally accept kick backs or incentive payments from vendors, if we are offered we ask that the vendor pass the savings onto our clients.
6. Myth: All planners and the services they offer are the same.
Tarth: Short answer: definitely not! Every couple is different and so every planner is different. For a variety of reasons different planners have structured their packages differently. Some planners may be more focused on the problem solving and hands on aspects of a wedding, while some of them may only offer coordinating services.
Every wedding planner is going to have different strengths. I know some planners who hate doing design, they dont feel confident about it and it stresses them out. While others may have the perfect ability to craft your wedding vision and heavily focus on design.
Some planners are bubbly and outgoing, others are calm and soothing. One planner may prefer a more rustic aesthetic and do a lot of outdoor weddings, while another may skew more formal or lavish. We’re all different and have our own special recipe for what makes us a great planner. So do your research: check out a planner’s website, instagram, etc. See if you like what they do. Then schedule a meeting to see if you like who they are!
Your wedding planner will be with you through out the whole planning process and all day on wedding day so you want to make sure you vibe well with them! You’ll know when you’ve found the one who is the right fit for you, just like you knew when your fiancé was the one! 😉
7. Myth: You don’t need to have a wedding planner or coordinator. You, your family and friends can do it all yourselves!
Truth: You probably could do that but remember earlier when I broke down how difficult coordinating a wedding can be? (Myth #3) Imagine doing that and also being a part of the wedding. I can assure you: you do not want that stress on your day. You don’t want that stress for your loved ones on your day. There is a lot that goes into a big event like a wedding running smoothly and no matter how well you plan and prepare: something always goes wrong. I don’t know how or why but it always does. And there is nothing like having the peace of mind of knowing that a professional has it under control and you do not need to worry. That is the ultimate gift on your wedding day.
I have a wedding photographer friend who told me a story from her own wedding day. This was before she was in the industry and she didn’t have a wedding coordinator. Her family was heavily involved in helping on wedding day, so much that her dad was in the kitchen washing dishes during the father-daughter dance. Yup, they started the song and couldn’t find her dad. A little later, they found him with soap and water on his dress pants and he joined in our their dance.
Now let’s paint the scenario of that same wedding but with a wedding coordinator. Your wedding coordinator would make sure dad was ready for the dance, and if we were unable to find him, we would be in communication with the DJ/band to delay playing the song until we could find him. Then once we did find him, the dance would pick up and no one would be the wiser.
Do you have more questions about how a wedding planner can make a difference in your wedding planning? Let’s get this planning party started! Click here to send us an inquiry!
Bianca Nichole Events is a wedding planner in Austin, and will travel to San Antonio, Fredericksburg and the surrounding Texas Hill Country area.
